Please Read or listen to These Nice Stories I Wrote







Over the years I've published a bunch of stories, humor pieces, and essays in a variety of print and online journals.  On this page I've listed a selection of pieces, with links and even some sound recordings when possible.  Many of the pieces not listed/linked to here are collected in my 2012 book, The Adventures of Ed Tuttle, Associate Justice, and Other Stories.  Links to my book reviews are on the "Scholarship" Page.


One of a Kind Government Positions (May 2013 on McSweeney's)

Not Your Ordinary Home for Birds (April 2013 on National Geographic's NewsWatch)

Are Your Palm Sunday Palms Bad for the Environment? (March 2013 on Slate)

My Letter to Mitt Romney (September 2012, on "We Represent the 47 Percent")

I Made Justice Thomas Laugh (August 2012, on Salon)

Eagle Party (March 2011, in The Green Bag)

Can Having an Eagle Feather Get You Arrested?, Mental Floss, March/April 2011, at page 18.

Woodsy the Owl Loses His Mojo (February 2011, on McSweeney's)

Queens of the Scatalogical Age (September 2009, on The Morning News) (opinion piece about upcoming Thurber Prize award for American humor).

The Nunnery (October 2008, on Monkeybicycle)

Sister Pact: A Bostonian Living in Europe Goes to Padua (September 2008, on Beacon Broadside)

The Adventures of Ed Tuttle, Associate Justice (July 2008, in print in Barrelhouse #6)

Family Film Guide for the Week Beginning July 6, 2008 (July 2008 on Yankee Pot Roast)

Failures in Live Blogging (March 2008, on Yankee Pot Roast)

The Sound of Silence, Supreme Court Style (March 2008, on Beacon Broadside)

Correspondences Between TV Characters and Sets Containing A Specified Number of Items (December 2007, on McSweeney's)

Embedded (November 2007, in print in The Duck & Herring Pocket Field Guide, Cold Weather 2007-2008)

Laugh Track II--Still Laughin! (in the Yale Law Journal Pocket Part, November 2007)

My First Boob (October 2007, in print in Opium #5) (finalist in Opium's 500-word memoir contest) (Sound File)

Responses to Recurrent Critiques of my Toothbrush of the Month Club Idea (November 2006, on McSweeney's)

E=mc3 (October 2006, in Opium.print 3, available here)  (reprinted in The &Now Awards: The Best Innovative Writing, published by Lake Forest University Press).

The Joy of Shopping For Odds and Ends (August 2006, on Opium) (finalist in Night Train's 50/50 Firebox Fiction contest)

Document 56 (December 2005, in Snow Monkey #17)

Laugh Track (October 2005, in The Green Bag)

Eenie Meenie (August 2005, in Gator Springs Gazette #4)

Mary Ann's Forks (June 2005, on Dicey Brown) (Sound File)

Methodology (June 2005, in Cellar Door #3)

You are Not Tu Fu (April 2005, in Ink Pot #6)

The Linear Apartment (February 2005, in Bullfight #2)

Lundy Man (January 2005, on Defenestration) (nominated for Story South's Million Writer's Award)

Champagne  (July 2004, on Eyeshot)

Pandora’s Lockbox (May 2004, on Facsimilation) (Sound File)

What Do You Like Best About Me? (May 2004, on Defenestration)

 A Comparison of Deng Xiaoping and John Travolta, Written on the Eve of Deng Xiaoping's Death in 1997 and Rejected Soon Thereafter by the Now Defunct Spy Magazine (May 2004, on über)

Family Film Guide (March 2004, on Yankee Pot Roast

Guestbook: Vermont Applebrook Inn, Lancaster Suite, January 1, 1999-May 1, 2001 (Excerpts) (Feb. 2004 on McSweeney's

Reasons You Should Not Place Your Foot onto the Street When a Car is Coming, Even if You are Curious About How it Would Feel if a Car Ran Over Your Foot (Feb. 2004 on McSweeney's

Things You Shouldn’t Substitute for Whipped Cream During Food-Sex, Even if You are Out of Whipped Cream (November 2003 on McSweeney's

Mister Brown, Bye, Bye (January 2003 on Pindeldyboz

Some Notes Regarding my Stint as the Second-and-a-Half String Center on my Freshman Football Team, Circa 1983 (November 2002 on Eyeshot) 

"Consume Mass Quantities: Clinton's Secret Health Plan?", Spy Magazine (January 1994, page 20) (with Rob Cox)